


Shining is Your Natural State

by BigG1999



Series: It's that heart of gold and stardust soul that make you beautiful ~ R. M. Broderick [6]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Artificial Insemination, Babies, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Cute Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fade to Black, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Light Angst, Married Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Massage, Modern Setting Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Romantic Fluff, Teasing, Trans Female Character, Trans Lexa (The 100), baby talk, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23260399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigG1999/pseuds/BigG1999
Summary: Part 6 of series. (Before not needed to understand.)“You are made of stardust. Shining is your natural state.”After dealing with the shock of her parent's deaths, Lexa finds herself the CEO of one of the largest companies in the world, her old house ready for her, and a letter comes in the mail, reminding her of something else. So the question is asked, what now?(Or, they decide to start a family.)
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane, Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: It's that heart of gold and stardust soul that make you beautiful ~ R. M. Broderick [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561378
Comments: 37
Kudos: 140





	1. Baby?

“Baby,” Clarke coos as she walks behind the seated brunette, her arms wrapping around her chest, “Come to bed,” she whispers into a tiny ear, pressing a kiss below it. 

Lexa sighs as she leans back into the embrace, one hand coming up to gently stroke Clarke’s forearm as the other takes off her glasses.

“I need to figure this out,” she protests softly, tilting her head to the side as Clarke continues kissing her neck.

“It’ll be there in the morning. Come hold me.”

Lexa sighs as she squeezes Clarke’s forearm. Clarke releases her hold as Lexa leans forward, turning off the computer. 

“You’re so tense baby,” Clarke notes as she starts to massage Lexa’s shoulders.

“It’s a lot of stress,” Lexa defends softly, leaning into the touch as the computer screen goes dark.

“I know baby girl, let’s go to bed,” she whispers softly, pressing a kiss to Lexa’s temple.

Lexa grabs one of Clarke’s hands, intertwining their fingers as they walk the short distance to their bedroom. Clarke giggles as Lexa releases her hold to flop face-first on their bed, letting out a long groan. 

“Poor baby,” Clarke whispers, teasing, as she climbs onto the bed and straddles Lexa’s hips, knees on either side as she gently settles her weight on the curve of Lexa’s ass.

“Mmm,” Lexa offers as a response, turning her head so she isn’t face-first in the pillow, a hand coming up to move her long hair out of her face. 

“I love you,” Clarke mumbles as she lifts the bottom of Lexa’s shirt up, thumbs digging into the small dimples at the bottom of Lexa’s spine as she starts massaging Lexa’s back.

“Mmm love you,” Lexa mumbles, eyes closed as her body relaxes under Clarke’s gentle touch.

Clarke smirks in response as she continues her massage, waiting until Lexa’s breathing evens out to stop. She leans over her wife’s prone body, pressing a kiss to her clothed shoulder before rolling off her. 

Clarke’s bare feet pad through their small apartment, heading back to the office. Finding Lexa’s phone on the desk, she grabs it before making her way to the kitchen, connecting the phone to the charger. Clarke shakes her head as it lights up, showing it had been at five percent across a picture of herself. 

She can’t help her smile as she looks at the photo Lexa chose to be her lock screen. It’s not candid, instead, a picture Lexa herself caught. They had been caught outside when it started snowing, and Clarke had been so surprised at the snow. She had thrown her hood back and looked up to the sky, enjoying the cold, much to Lexa’s amusement. 

Shaking her head, she returns the phone to the counter and heads back to their bedroom, throwing her shirt towards the hamper in the corner, not bothering to watch if it makes it as she crawls into bed. Lexa mumbles something as Clarke wraps an arm around her, snuggling into her side. 

Clarke doesn’t respond to the mumble, instead, taking a deep breath and allowing her body to relax, falling into the darkness.

* * *

_ Cold. _

That’s Clarke’s first thought as she comes to consciousness. She groans, stretching her legs as she takes a deep breath before opening her eyes. 

“Ew,” she mumbles to herself, scratching at the dried drool on the corner of her mouth as she props herself up on her elbows. 

Unsurprisingly, the room is empty. Lexa is nowhere in sight, causing Clarke to let out a sigh, dropping back down to the pillow, face-first. 

“Baby? You awake?” Lexa questions softly, causing Clarke to perk back up, turning towards the door. 

They both break into a smile as their eyes meet. 

“Goodmorning baby.” Lexa grins, “I made us breakfast,” she says, nodding to the two plates in her hands, filled with eggs, bacon, and pancakes. 

“Mmm, morning,” Clarke smirks, turning over and leaning back on her elbows, pushing out her nude chest, grinning as Lexa freezes, eyes glued to her chest. 

Lexa blinks. Once. Twice.

Clake takes pity on her, “Pancakes? Yummy.”

Lexa shakes her head slightly, eyes coming back to her wife’s face, noting the smirk. 

“You’re just mean,” Lexa states, rolling her eyes as she continues towards her wife, handing her the plate covered in syrup. 

“Me? Mean? Never,” Clarke grins, digging into the plate without another thought. 

Lexa shakes her head, but the smirk gives away her amusement as she digs into her own plate. 

“Thank you for putting my phone on the charger, I know I didn’t.”

Clarke hums, chewing her food before answering, “I figured you’d have some important call or something in the morning.”

“I did. In fact, I’ve had a few calls already today,” Lexa explains before taking another bite.

“Anything you want to share?” Clake questions, turning to set her plate on the nightstand. 

“Yes. There are quite a few things we need to discuss because of this,” Lexa says, turning to set her plate on her nightstand.

“We can wait until you finish eating, baby,” Clarke chuckles as she rolls out of bed. 

Lexa watches as Clarke stretches, reaching up towards the ceiling, her nude breasts jiggling at the movement. 

“Perv,” Clarke jokes as she turns towards their dresser, “I’m going to shower so you can eat without getting distracted.”

“So pervy to be attracted to your wife,” Lexa scoffs, taking a bite of her pancakes, chewing much harder than needed. 

“Face it, babe, you’re just a useless lesbian,” Clarke says over her shoulder as she pulls out some clothes. 

Lexa grumbles, taking a bite of her bacon. 

“I should’ve known when you ran into a door and fell on your ass on our honeymoon.”

Lexa sighs, “You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?”

Clarke laughs, “Nope.”

“Go take a shower, you butthole.”

* * *

“Mmm, breakfast in bed and you’re doing dishes? Should I be scared?” Clarke questions, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s stomach as she molds herself to her back. 

“I just want to take care of my wonderful wife,” Lexa says, turning off the sink and setting the plate in the rack.

“Mmm. You’re perfect,” Clarke mumbles, pressing a kiss to Lexa’s shoulder before allowing her to turn.

“You are,” Lexa argues as she looks into blue eyes. 

“Mmm, we both can be,” Clarke decides, one hand sliding under Lexa’s sweats to cup her butt. 

Lexa chuckles as she connects their lips for a soft kiss, backing away when Clarke attempts to deepen it.

“Come on you horndog, we can do that after we talk,” Lexa says, taking Clarke’s hand from her behind and leading her to the office. 

“I hate business talk,” Clarke whines. 

“I’ll eat you out after,” Lexa suggests as she sits down. 

“Suddenly I love business.”

Lexa laughs, pressing a kiss to the back of Clarke’s hand as she pulls Clarke closer. 

“Oh, business seat too?” Clarke giggles as Lexa’s arms wrap around her hips, anchoring her to Lexa’s lap. 

“Folder to the right,” Lexa whispers into Clarke’s shoulder, gently moving Clarke’s wet hair to her other shoulder. 

“This?” Clarke questions, grabbing the folder, earning an “Mhm” from the brunette. 

Clarke opens the folder, brows furrowing at the legal document before her. 

“Read it.”

“Deed to thirteen Ark-” Clarke trails off as comprehension sets in. 

“I guess he just kept it,” Lexa explains. 

“Our house,” Clarke mumbles, looking at the paper.

“It’s empty. We could move in if we want.”

Clarke turns, looking at Lexa over her shoulder, “Do you want to?”

Lexa bites her bottom lip, “Look at the next paper.”

Clarke’s brows furrow again, but she does as told. 

“Lexa...” Clarke whispers.

“I know we haven’t really talked about it, but we have that option. Now we’ll have enough money to pay for it.”

“Pause. This isn’t a conversation we’re having in the office. This is a living room talk,” Clarke says, standing up and pulling Lexa with her.

“Why does it matter what room we have this conversation in?” Lexa questions, following her wife. 

“We need to be in our common space. The office is your space, the bedroom is mine. The living room is neutral territory.”

“You read that somewhere?” Lexa questions as Clarke sits on the couch.

“I don’t remember, but humor me,” Clarke admits, patting the couch next to her.

“Okay,” Lexa mumbles, sitting next to the blonde.

“Unpause. Do you want kids?”

Lexa freezes, a deep voice from her past whispers in her mind.

_ “Go home and make me a grandchild, or don’t bother coming back.” _

“Lexa?” Clarke questions, gently taking Lexa’s hand in hers, bringing the brunette back to the moment. 

“Sorry,” Lexa apologizes, looking down at their hands.

“Kids are a big deal. I guess we haven’t really thought about them much since we don’t have fear of that happening accidentally.”

“I mean, I guess I do? I mean, I have the sample for a reason,” Lexa explains, “Do you want kids? I mean, it’s you who would have to do the hard work.”

Clarke sighs, looking down at their hands. 

“I want kids, but… I dunno. I’m not like, the mom type. I’m cool being the fun aunt. I love spending time with Nari and Mateo and Quinn, but like, our own? That’s a whole different ballpark. Plus like, I’m we’re not that young baby. I’m thirty-five, almost forty. After thirty-five you become high risk, just carrying the baby, I mean-”

“Klark,” Lexa whispers, gently tilting her chin up to blue eyes meet green, “You are a healthy woman. It might be later than normal, but when have we ever done anything the normal way? Besides, there are ways for us to have children if you can’t, or don’t want to carry them. Either way, you will be a wonderful mother, just like you’re a wonderful aunt. It’s also not something we have to decide today, we have time.”

Clarke nods, crawling to Lexa and forcing her to lay down as she lies on top of her. Lexa hums at the change, one hand coming up to play with damp hair. She works on the tangles in blonde hair as Clarke takes a deep interest in playing with a string coming from her shirt, obviously deep in thought. 

Lexa doesn’t rush her wife, instead, she relaxes into their embrace. She provides gentle touches as Clarke silently works through her feelings. It’s about half an hour later when Clarke takes a deep breath and pushes herself up to look into green eyes. Lexa questions her with the raise of an eyebrow.

“Let’s have a baby.”

Lexa smiles, leaning in to connect their lips. Clarke grins as she pulls away, blue eyes shining.

“What?” Lexa questions, knowing the look on Clarke’s face. 

“I believe you said you’d do a certain thing after we had this talk,” Clarke wiggles her eyebrows.

Lexa laughs, rolling her eyes at her wife as she throws a pillow on the ground. 

“Here?” Clarke questions as Lexa slides to the ground, knees on the pillow. 

“Unless you want to wait,” Lexa mumbles, reaching for Clarke’s shorts, pulling them off without protest.

“No arguments here,” Clarke whispers, spreading her legs.


	2. Options

“This is crazy,” Lexa mumbles, looking at the laptop in Clarke’s lap, Clarke sitting in between her legs and reclining against her, their legs spread lengthways across the new couch. 

“I mean, we could adopt. I know we haven’t really talked about that much, but that’s also an option,” Clarke suggests, turning her head to look at the brunette. 

“I think you’ll look so beautiful pregnant,” Lexa whispers, her hands coming to Clarke’s stomach, “I mean, you’re so beautiful now, but I can just imagine the glow you’ll have.”

“Are we bad people for not adopting?” Clarke questions.

“Are Lincoln and Octavia bad people for not adopting?” 

Clarke brows furrow, “No, but they could just… Do it.”

“And this is just how we have to do it,” Lexa explains softly, pressing a kiss to Clarke’s shoulder.

“I guess you’re right.”

“If you want, we can look into adoption too. I’m sure Anya could help us get in contact if you want to.”

“No. I want to have your baby or babies. You know, there’s an increased chance for us to have two or more,” Clarke says, turning her attention back to the computer.

“How about we worry about getting you pregnant before we worry about how many kids we’ll have?”

“I think we should have two, at least. I was always lonely growing up being an only child.”

“I think that sounds perfect baby, now let’s get back on track,” Lexa suggests, running her finger over the thumbpad of the laptop, as it had gone black from inactivity.

“There are so many types, it’s kinda scary,” Clarke admits, looking at the screen. 

“Let’s break it down. There’s what, three types, right? Explain them to me?” 

“I mean, there’s a few. Basically, they can take my eggs out first and mix them with the sperm and then put it back.”

“But don’t they have to do stuff to take them out?” Lexa questions.

“Yeah. I’d have to like, track my cycle and take a lot of hormones and stuff. Then we’d have to go in and have them harvest a bunch, then they’ll put it back once the egg is fertilized.”

“Sounds like a lot.”

“Getting pregnant is a lot.”

Lexa rolls her eyes at the sass, gently giving Clarke’s hip a squeeze, “What are the other options?”

“Basically just putting the sperm in me and hoping it takes.”

Lexa’s eyebrows shoot up, “Just like, shoot it in you?”

Clarke chuckles, “I mean, the doctor can put it, like, in my tubes or something to help, or yeah. Just shoot it in.”

“Well, we could do that at home.”

“Yeah. Most people do. Of course, the chance of getting pregnant goes down the less like, medically supervised we are.”

“What do you think?” Lexa questions. 

“Honestly?” Clarke sighs, moving to set the computer onto the coffee table. 

Lexa watches as Clarke moves, settling into the other side of the couch, sitting criss-cross to be face to face with her. 

“Mhm,” she hums, wordlessly telling her to continue. 

“I want as little time at the doctors as possible. I’ve spent too much of my life at the hospital, and I don’t enjoy spending more.”

Lexa’s heart softens, “Oh baby,” she whispers, reaching out and stroking Clarke’s leg.

“I mean, obviously we still have to go to the doctor and set all this up, but I… I’d like to make our child, or children, ourselves. Like, here. In our home, making love.”

Lexa’s eyebrows perk up. 

“An orgasm after inserting the sperm might have benefits,” Clarke wiggles her eyebrows.

Lexa chuckles, “You’ve done more research already, haven’t you?”

Clarke flushes, blush coating her cheeks, “I mean, yeah.”

Lexa tilts, confused by the blush, “How long have you been researching?” she questions carefully.

Clarke sighs, “I mean, I kinda started that night we talked about it.”

“Really?”

“I mean, I knew we’d need some time to settle back in here before we even talked about it again. You know me, baby, I just started looking into it.”

Lexa chuckles, nodding in agreement, “Yes, I do know you.” she agrees, smirking before continuing, “What does your mom think?”

Clarke groans, flopping back against the arm of the couch, “Why do you know me so well?”

“We’ve been married for over five years baby,” Lexa grins as Clarke shifts, uncrossing her legs to drape them across Lexa’s. 

“God, has it been that long?” 

“It’s been three months since we got married again,” Lexa informs as she takes Clarke’s leg in her hands, massaging her calf.

“I suggest we go on another honeymoon.”

“We just went to Fiji, Clarke, on our  **second** honeymoon,” Lexa scolds, “And you’re ignoring my question. What does your mom think?”

Clarke rolls her eyes, “Well first she made some dumb comment about it, then asked why not adopt. Then she went on to tell me about how there’s a new process that can turn anybody’s cells into sperm cells-”

“You didn’t tell her that we have some?” Lexa questions, interrupting Clarke’s thought as she switches to her other leg.

Clarke’s brows furrow, “No, it’s none of her business. I don’t talk to her about that kinda stuff involving you.”

Lexa’s brows furrow instead, “What kind of stuff?”

Clarke sighs, “Like sex stuff. I dunno, it’s weird talking to her about sex to start with, then add on all her weird thoughts… I dunno. I don’t think she should think about you like that.”

“I highly doubt she spends a lot of time thinking about how her daughter has sex.”

“I dunno. I just…" Clarke shakes her head, "She’s asked some weird-ass questions. Especially right after you came out. I mean, I’m like eighty percent sure she thinks we were having sex before you even came out.”

“I still can’t believe you waited all that time for me,” Lexa admits. 

“Why do you say that?” Clarke questions, pulling Lexa’s leg into her lap to return the massage, “I think I was very good about waiting for you.”

“You were, I’m just saying that we have sex like, every day.” 

Clarke grins, “I don’t think that’s all on me, baby girl.”

Lexa swallows, her mouth suddenly dry as she looks at her wife. Clarke chuckles as she looks at Lexa, knowing exactly what she’s doing. 

“I have to have sex once a week,” Lexa defends weakly.

“You have to dilate once a week, that doesn’t have to involve me,” Clarke points out, “Since you don’t seem to be interested, you can figure that out on your own.”

Clarke attempts to hide her smirk, knowing the threat is empty as she stands up, ready to make a dramatic exit. 

“Clarke,” Lexa whines, catching her by the wrist. 

“Oh, got something to say?” Clarke questions with a raise of her eyebrow. 

Lexa sighs, pushing out her bottom lip slightly on purpose, waiting until blue eyes focus on it to speak. 

“I love you and your overactive sex drive,” Lexa says.

“And?” Clarke prods, easily crawling into Lexa’s lap, enjoying how Lexa’s hands imminently find her hips. 

“And I’m lucky to enjoy it.”

Clarke hums, settling her weight fully on Lexa’s lap as she leans away, “Wrong answer,” she states calmly.

Lexa lets out a pitiful whine from the back of her throat, one of her hands grabbing a handful of Clarke’s ass as the other trails around to her thigh, nails gently scratching along her outer thigh.

“Maybe I’m just as bad?” Lexa tries again, whining as Clarke shakes her head and grabs her hand, stopping it from moving closer to Clarke’s center.

Lexa groans, slamming her head back into the arm of the chair, “Fuckk, baby.”

“If you say the right thing, maybe,” Clarke whispers, voice dripping with arousal as one of her hands comes up, groping one of Lexa’s breasts through her shirt. 

“Please fuck me?” Lexa tries again, earning a loud groan from Clarke, her hips thrusting forward on their own.

“Not what I was looking for,” Clarke says, leaning down so her breath mingles with Lexa’s, “But I’ll accept it.” 

"Fuck baby," Lexa groans, leaning forward and connecting their lips. 

Clarke grins, a hand sliding down Lexa's stomach, "Gladly."


	3. Kids?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, get ready for some smiles, bc the fluff is cute. Also, there's a panic attack, so that's not fun, but yeah. Enjoy!

“This feels so crazy,” Clarke admits, setting down her empty plate and looking around their living room. 

“Who would’ve ever guessed you two would end up back here, huh?” Lincoln chuckles, taking a bite of his pizza.

“I’m still ready to move in if you two need a sexy maid or something,” Raven offers with a wink in Lexa’s direction.

Lexa chuckles, rolling her eyes, “I’m sure your wife would love that.”

Anya shrugs as she takes a sip of her wine, “You can have Nari on the weekends.”

Raven gasps in mock offense.

“Like you could go a weekend without your girls,” Octavia chimes in before Raven can, earning a dark glare.

“You say that like you could,” Clarke jokes, “I’ve seen you checking your phone every five seconds.”

“Hey, this is only our second outing since the twins have been born,” Lincoln defends, his arm wrapping around his wife as he sets his empty plate on the coffee table.

“They’re almost six months old,” Lexa states confused as she picks up Lincoln’s plate, silently collecting them. 

“You’d understand if you had kids, Lex,” Anya says as she hands her plate over. 

“Yeah, leaving when they’re that little was super hard,” Raven admits, leaning forward and opening the pizza box, grabbing another piece. 

Lexa bites her bottom lip, glancing at Clarke as she sets the plates down. A shallow nod gives her much-needed confidence. 

“Speaking of having kids, that’s something we’ve been thinking about actually,” Lexa states as she heads towards the kitchen to put the plates in the sink.

“Wait, really?” Raven questions.

“Seriously?” Octavia asks.

“Yes. We’ve been talking about our options lately, we’re pretty sure we want to try naturally, but adoption isn’t off the table,” Clarke explains as Lexa comes back into the room.

Brows furrow all around the room in confusion, all expect Anya.

“They still have it?” Anya questions, looking to Lexa.

Lexa blushes, one hand scratching the back of her neck as she walks toward her wife’s open arms, “I got a letter in the mail reminding me about my donation. It’s been about five years.”

“You donated sperm?” Raven questions, causing Lexa to wince, “Ow,” she mumbles, looking at her wife who is glaring at her, “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Lexa shakes her head as she sits in Clarke’s lap, Clarke’s arms wrapping around her midsection and her lips pressing kisses to the back of her neck. 

“But yes. Before I started taking my shots, I donated. Just in case we decided that we wanted kids in the future.”

“Why now?” Lincoln questions, “I just mean, we’re not that young anymore Lex.”

“I’m older than all of you,” Anya glares at her little cousin, causing him to slam his mouth shut. 

“We’ve been thinking of having more ourselves,” Octavia admits, “But Linc is worried about age.”

“I don’t think there’s an age limit on parenting. I mean,” Raven looks to her wife, connecting their hands before continuing, “We’ve been thinking of being foster parents.”

“Ahn,” Lincoln mumbles, surprise coating his features. 

“I stepped up to keep you out of foster care. Why shouldn’t we step up for those in foster care?” Anya shrugs, her jaw clenched. 

Raven pulls their joins hands to her lips, whispering to Anya for a moment as Octavia does the same with Lincoln.

“So we’re a bunch of thirty-somethings ready for more kids?” Clarke questions the room from behind Lexa.

“Mostly,” Anya states. 

“So… I guess that’s that. We just wanted to tell you guys about it,” Lexa states with a shrug. 

“Have you started either process yet?” Octavia questions.

“Not yet. We wanted to let you guys know before Ma spoiled it,” Clarke admits. 

“Your mom knows?” Raven questions, “I just saw her and she-Oh! That makes sense now.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, “Why does that not surprise me.”

“Come on Clarke, she’s excited. The prospect of grandchildren.” 

“Nothing gets moms more excited than grandbabies. I think Mom would go crazy if she knew we were thinking about having more,” Octavia admits. 

“Well, now that Bell has come out she’s done hoping for him.”

“Wait, what? Bell came out?”

“He’s engaged to Murph, finally. Only took like ten years on and off for them to realize it.”

“Murph? Like Murphey?” Lexa questions, confused.

“Oh yeah, they’ve been sneaking around for years babe. You never noticed?” Clarke questions.

“I thought he liked you,” Lexa admits, earning a laugh around the room.

“He’s like a brother or cousin or something. And he’s hella gay, he’s just been in the closet for a long time.”

“Yeah. Mom wasn’t one you’d expect to be accepting. But she found them kissing and was just like, ‘oh, well that makes sense’ and started teasing the shit outa him,” Octavia explains. 

“I wish I could’ve seen his face,” Raven laughs.

* * *

“Hey, hey, hey,” Lexa coos, dropping to her knees in front of the blonde, “In and out,” she coaches as her hands hover over Clarke’s thighs.

Clarke sucks in air between her sobs, not hearing the brunette. Too far gone in her mind as she hyperventilates. Slowly sliding lower against the wall as she loses her strength. 

“Clarke, hey, baby,” Lexa whispers, touching Clarke’s hips, bringing blue eyes to her in surprise. 

“In… and out, baby. Come on, breathe with me,” Lexa coaches, exaggerating her breathes as she looks up at the blonde, her thumb rubbing against the small sliver of skin between her shirt and jeans, grounding her. 

Clarke falls to the ground, Lexa catching her without a thought as she buries her face into Lexa’s neck. 

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay,” Lexa whispers, one hand wrapping around Clarke’s back, holding her close, the other running through blonde hair. 

“I’m so old, Lexa,” Clarke finally spits out, tears still running, but breathing under control.

“What? No. You’re not old baby,” Lexa shakes her head, pulling back to look into blue eyes.

“They were all so condescending about it. Like I don’t know I’m older. They-”

“We’re getting new doctors. You aren’t too old to have a baby.”

“I’m thirty-”

“Not too old baby, okay?” Lexa states, cradling the blonde’s face, “We’re getting new doctors. We’ll find ones that don’t give you panic attacks, okay?”

Clarke sighs, closing her eyes and nodding. She can’t help her small smile as Lexa gently wipes away her tears. 

“I was thinking too, maybe we should babysit the twins or something? Just to make sure we’re sure.”

“Sound perfect.”

* * *

“Yeah, perfect,” Clarke rolls her eyes, rocking Quinn as Mateo screams, Lexa changing his diaper as Nari runs in circles around the room.

“Hey, we’re doing good, right Nar?” Lexa questions the four-year-old, tossing the ruined diaper into the trash next to her. 

“Right!” Nari yells in excitement, jumping in place as she looks at her aunt, her huge smile on display, a single bottom tooth missing. 

“That’s my girl,” Lexa chuckles as she lifts Mateo up, sliding a diaper under his bottom. 

She squeals in surprise as he starts peeing, soaking the front of her shirt before she can react. Clarke bursts out laughing as Lexa reacts, pulling his diaper up to stop the flow before sending an unamused look to the blonde over her shoulder.

“‘Taeo pee on Auntie Lexie!” Nari laughs, running to Clarke, laughing even harder.

“That just means you like me, right?” Lexa questions Mateo, who is now grinning himself, clapping his hands together.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Clarke chuckles, grinning down at the sleeping baby in her arms, motioning at Nari to be quiet as she heads towards the crib, Nari’s brown eyes wide as she follows.

* * *

“Is it bad I’m sad?” Lexa questions, bottom lip jutting out as she closes the door, the house silent for the first time in hours.

Clarke chuckles, pulling Lexa into a kiss, sucking her bottom lip softly before pulling away.

“No, but you know what’s good about them not being ours?” 

Lexa tilts her head to the side, silently questioning while the side of her lips twitch in amusement, guessing what Clarke is hinting at, “What?”

“This,” Clarke pulls her shirt off, laughing at Lexa’s stunned face as she walks backward, undoing her bra and throwing it at her.

Lexa grins, glancing down at the newly exposed peaks before back up to blue eyes. Clarke laughs as she turns, running towards their bedroom, giggling as Lexa chases after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also check out my new fic, 'Screw Stardust' where instead of Lexa being trans, Clarke is. It's my new favorite thing. :)


	4. Tests

“Alright, you know the drill. Panties off, feet up. Doc will be in, in a minute,” the nurse states with a small smile, an old friend of Clarke’s from back in med school. 

Lexa bites her lip, looking around at the small office, noting the multiple diagrams of the uterus, an oversized model sitting on the counter by the sink. 

“Here, hold these, sweet cheeks,” Clarke grins, throwing her underwear at Lexa, breaking her from her discomfort.

“Clarke, what the hell?” Lexa whisper yells, pocketing the underwear as Clarke sits on the chair, careful to keep her dress between her bare butt and the wax paper. 

Clarke chuckles, enjoying the bright red flush that’s now coating Lexa’s cheeks. Lexa can’t help her own smirk as she takes a seat in the chair next to Clarke, rolling her eyes at her wife’s childish actions. 

There’s a small knock on the door before it opens, the doctor himself coming in. He doesn’t say a word as he enters, looking down at his chart. Lexa’s sits taller in her seat, looking at the older man, eyes narrowing at his inattentiveness.

When he does look up, he doesn’t attempt to hide his eye roll at Clarke. 

“Feet up, scoot all the way to the end of the table,” he barks at her, setting down his clipboard and getting some hand sanitizer.

“W-”

Clarke’s hand squeezing her’s cuts off Lexa’s statement, Clarke putting her feet up in, bending awkwardly, clenching her jaw at her own discomfort.

“All the way down,” he orders, sitting down in the chair at her feet, not bothering to look at either of them, his eyes focused on Clarke’s exposed parts. 

Clarke grunts as he pulls her hips, causing her even more discomfort. 

He pulls on a pair of gloves as a knock on the door sounds, an intern rushing in, glancing once at Clarke, then down at the ground, red coating his cheeks.

“Here, sir. The sample,” he states, handing the doctor a vial full of a thick, white, liquid. 

He grunts his thanks to the intern, taking the vial, finally looking at Lexa.

“Are you going to administrating at home?” he questions, taking out a syringe and filling it.

“Yes sir,” Lexa answers, watching as the doctor uses a crazy looking device to open Clarke up.

“Don’t tense, makes it worse,” he orders the blonde as she clenches in response to the cold, Clarke gritting her teeth as he leaves her open, gesturing for Lexa to come to watch.

“Open her up, get your sample ready, and push into this hole,” he states, pushing the syringe into Clarke, “and push it in. Simple.”

Lexa clinches her jaw as he removes the syringe and pulls the tool away from Clarke, rolling away on his chair, going back to the chart. 

“Now, I wouldn’t be too hopeful for this first couple of rounds. With the factors in play, it’s going to take a few times to get it right,” he states as Clarke pulls her underwear back on. 

“Factors?” Lexa questions, confused.

“Age, weight, quality of sperm. All play factors, and you don’t have the best line up,” he chuckles as if it’s something funny.

“Get out.”

His brows rise in surprise, looking Lexa in the eye for the first time, “What?

“Get the hell out of here. I’m done listening to a man who doesn’t have the decency to say hello to his patients.”

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers, touching her arm.

“No. He’s supposed to be helping us start a family, and instead, he’s laughing. Calling you old and fat, as if he isn’t older and bigger than you. Instead of reassuring us, he’s telling us not to hope. I’m done. I don’t care if your mom likes him, we’re not coming back.”

He nods, not saying a word, but his eyes say enough for Lexa. 

“Lexa-”

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t bite my tongue anymore,” Lexa says, turning towards Clarke.

Her eyes widen as she’s pulled into a kiss, surprised.

“I love you so much,” Clarke whispers against her lips, earning another a grin as there’s a knock on the door.

* * *

“Are you ready?” Clarke questions, holding Lexa’s hand as they sit in the bathroom, a test sitting on the counter. 

“I’m so excited, and scared,” Lexa admits, biting her bottom lip.

“Me too. I mean, I know we shouldn’t be too hopeful, but like… What if?” 

“Okay, we need to just look.” 

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Lexa looks at Clarke. Clarke looks at Lexa. 

.

.

.

Clarke rolls her eyes chuckling in amusement, “We’re being dumb.”

Lexa chuckles, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the freckle above Clarke’s brow, “We’re nervous as shit.”

“Together?” 

“Together.”

Together they rise, heading over to the bathroom counter. Both holding their breaths as they look down at the test. 

Clarke sighs first, shoulders sagging. Lexa pulls her into a hug wordlessly, holding her close. She bites her bottom lip as Clarke’s body starts shaking, tears falling. 

“It’s okay, we’ll keep trying baby,” Lexa mumbles, running a hand through her hair. 

Clarke nods into her shoulder, holding her close.

* * *

“This is weird,” Lexa comments, looking at Clarke’s vagina.

“It is, but it’s def better than that doc,” Clarke agrees, handing Lexa the syringe. 

“You ready?” Lexa questions, spreading Clarke’s lips apart gently.

“More so than I was with him,” Clarke jokes with a wink.

Lexa can’t stop her smirk, rolling her eyes as she gets down to business.

* * *

“Are you ready?” Lexa questions, looking at Clarke.

Clarke bites her bottom lip, “What if it’s negative again?”

Lexa reaches out, stroking the side of Clarke’s cheek, “Then we try again.”

Clarke nods takes a deep breath as she heads to the counter. Lexa doesn’t get a chance to look before Clarke is in her arms, tears running down her face. 

“This is supposed to be easy,” Clarke mumbles into her chest.

“It’ll happen when it happens baby, I promise,” Lexa soothes, hoping she’s not lying.

* * *

Lexa pushes her glasses to the top of her head, rubbing at her eye as Clarke exits the bathroom. Glancing up, Lexa’s heart stops. 

Her eyes are puffy, the blue brights against the red rimming them. 

“Baby?” Lexa questions, setting the book on her nightstand, not caring about losing her spot as she tosses her glasses away. 

Clarke falls into Lexa’s open arms, burying her face into Lexa’s neck. 

“Negative,” Clarke whispers, explaining.

Lexa sighs, rubbing Clarke’s back, pressing her lips against the crown of her head. 

“What if I can’t get pregnant?” Clarke questions, her finger drawing invisible lines on Lexa’s chest.

“Then we’ll adopt,” Lexa answers easily, “I mean, if you still want to.”

Clarke sighs, “I don’t know how much longer I can keep going if it doesn’t happen soon.”

Lexa hums her understanding, running a hand through blonde hair.

“Then we won’t. Whatever you want baby. Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Lexa assures.

Clarke nods, falling silent as she soaks up Lexa’s warmth. 


End file.
